25 Good Questions

Here are 25 questions to ask people to draw them out . . .

1. What is your best childhood memory?

This question always makes people smile and often leads to a humorous or poignant exchange about family, travel, holidays and traditions, hopes and dreams, and friendship. You learn a lot about someone when they share aspects of their childhood.

2. If you had a chance for a “do-over” in life, what would you do differently?

This question gives insight into a person’s state of mind about who they are, their vulnerabilities, and their hopes and dreams. Often sharing regrets or unmet desires opens doors to considering new possibilities or the confidence to make needed change.

3. How did the two of you meet?

This is a great question to ask a couple. Quite often sharing the story of how they met draws them together in a mutual happy memory. It gives them a reason to reconnect and allows you to learn more about their past and how they interact together as a couple.

4. What do you feel most proud of?

This question makes people feel you are really interested in them and who they are. Everyone wants to feel accomplished and proud, and we all want an opportunity to share our successes without looking like a braggart. The answers give you great insight into what the person values most in life.

5. What is your favorite music?

The music we enjoy helps define us and reflects the dreams and attitudes of our generation. What we listen to reflects what speaks to our souls. It reveals who we are and what we believe — in an illuminating and honest way that’s often hard to put into words.

6. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why?

This question not only allows you to discuss and share travel experiences, but also it affords insights into the other person’s interests, personality, and sense of adventure.

7. If you could only keep five possessions, what would they be?

This question really makes people think. We are so attached to our possessions, but truthfully there are only a few that matter deeply to us. When people are forced to define those few, it gives insight into what they value most.

8. What teacher in school made the most impact on you and why?

Teachers can play a pivotal role in helping us develop a love of learning, discover our life passions, and draw out our innate skills. Sometimes they are people who inspire us or who simply believe in us and want the best for us.

9. What do you want your tombstone to say?

Although this is a morbid question, it does go right to the heart of what we want for ourselves. At the end of our lives, how do we want to be remembered and what legacy do we want to leave?

10. What was one of your most defining moments in life?

This is a great question to invite sharing on a deeper and more vulnerable level. Often defining moments come during profound life transitions like death, divorce, job loss, etc. It is during these times we are called to make a huge mental, physical, or emotional shift.

11. Why did you choose that profession?

The story of how someone landed in a particular profession opens the door to learning a lot about a person and their motivations, interests, education, and ambitions. We spend most of our days working, so the answer to this question also reveals how a person chooses to define their lives.

12. How do you spend your free time?

This is a great follow-up question to the previous question. It rounds out the picture of how this person has created his or her life and what hobbies, interests, and obligations they have created for themselves.

13. If you won the lottery, what would you do?

This is a fun question that reveals so much about a person and their attitudes about money, work, and life passion. Would they leave their job? Buy their dream home? Do something altruistic? Would they be happy about having a lot of money or want to avoid it?

14. Who do you most admire in life?

This is a great question to learn more about the kind of person someone wants to emulate. We admire people whose actions and character reflect what we want in ourselves. This will tell you a lot about the true character of a person.

15. What are your top three favorite books and why?

Sharing favorite books opens the door for interesting conversation and finding common ground between you. It gives you and the other person a chance to learn something new and potentially to understand a new perspective or interest you haven’t pursued.

16. What are you most afraid of?

This is a very probing and enlightening question. Everyone has fears, and our fears reveal our vulnerabilities and pain. When someone shares this with you, you must respond with care, kindness, and trustworthiness. You must treat their fears with dignity so they feel safe connecting with you on this more intimate level.

17. What feels like love to you?

Everyone has their own “love language” — the words, behaviors, and attitudes that make them feel loved and that reveal how they express love. This is a great question to ask your spouse, romantic partner, or a potential romantic partner.

18. What is your strongest personal quality?

Most people feel uncomfortable with this question at first because they want to appear modest. But truly we all want to feel validated about our positive  qualities and have others recognize this about us. People will usually follow up by asking this question of you, and it creates a positive feeling and bond between you.

19. What was your most embarrassing moment?

This is a fun question that can lead to laughter and connection. Most people enjoy telling funny stories about themselves if there isn’t shame or guilt involved. Occasionally someone will reveal something painful or shameful, and this is the time to show empathy and caring.

20. If you were president, what is the first thing you would do?

You can learn a lot about someone’s political beliefs, ideals, worries, and values when you ask this question. If you want to connect and invite open discussion, just be sure you don’t challenge or put down the response you get if it happens to be different from what you would do.

21. What age do you feel right now and why?

Ask this question of someone over 50, and you’ll get some interesting responses. As we get older, most people don’t “feel” their chronological age. It’s enlightening to learn how people perceive themselves internally even though externally they may be at a completely different stage of life.

22. If you could witness any event of the past, present, or future, what would it be?

This is a fascinating question that invites interesting discussion. You can learn about someone’s interests and goals, and perhaps you’ll be inspired to delve into a new interest yourself.

23. What is a skill you’d like to learn and why?

Most of us have something we want to learn to improve ourselves or for simple enjoyment. This question gives the person the opportunity not only to share that desire, but also to examine why they haven’t pursued learning the skill.

24. What does a perfect day look like to you?

Thinking about this question requires us to dig around in our memories for previous perfect days. It’s a feel good question that gives both people an infusion of happiness and maybe even the desire to recreate that perfect day.

25. How would your friends describe you?

This question allows the other person to talk about themselves from an outside perspective. It invites self-awareness and self-honesty and opens the door to more authentic conversation.

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By asking these questions, you are revealing something about yourself as well. You are showing others that you are engaged, interested, and aware of their value as a person. You are inviting authentic and genuine sharing and connection. When you make others feel valued and important, you are setting a foundation for lasting,mutually satisfying relationship.

Be Someones Champion

A Ghandi Quote on Life

Mahatma Gandhi once said,
 “Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
 Learn as if you were to live forever.”

40 Things I Want to Tell My Kids Before They’re Too Cool to Listen

1. Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. – Don’t base your attitude on how things are.  Choose your attitude so it supports and expresses the way you wish to be.  Frustration and stress come from the way you respond and react, not the circumstance themselves.  Adjust your attitude, and the frustration and stress is gone.
2. What you experience starts with your perception. – In almost every case, nothing is stopping you… nothing is holding you back but your own thoughts about yourself and “how life is.”  Your perception creates your beliefs.  And your beliefs create your behaviors.  And your behaviors produce your experience.
3. Let go of the need to complain about life. – Spend your moments actually living its beauty.  Change the phrase “have to” to “get to.”  So many things we complain about are things others wish they had the chance to do.
4. Positivity always pays off. – Your thoughts do not end when you finish thinking them.  They continue to echo through your life.  Choose wisely and intentionally.  Be outrageously and unreasonably positive.  Be funny and creative and ridiculous and joyful all at the same time.  Smile as often as possible.  A smile actually changes the vibe of your body.  It alters, physiologically, the chemistry of your being.  It will make you feel better and do better.
5. Negativity just shortens your life. – Before you waste it on anger, resentment, spite or envy, always think of how precious and irreplaceable your time is.
6. Worry is the biggest enemy of the present moment. – It does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing absolutely nothing at all.  When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.  (Read The Power of Now.)
7. Don’t run away from things; run toward them. – The best way to move away from something negative is to move toward something positive.
8. Nothing is as bad as it seems.  Nothing. – There’s a benefit and a blessing hidden in the folds of every experience and every outcome.
9. Gratitude helps every situation. – How can you transform suffering into joy, and struggle into peace?  GRATITUDE.  Start being grateful for all the problems you do NOT have.
10. Everything is falling together perfectly, even though it looks as if some things are falling apart. – Trust in life’s process.  Happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with what is, rather than wishing for and worrying about what is not.  When life is “falling apart,” things could actually be falling together… maybe for the first time.
11. Change is necessary. – Change is the process of life itself.  In fact, everything is changing every second of our lives.  However good or bad the situation is now, it will change.  That’s one thing you can count on.  So never assume that you’re stuck with the way things are.  Life changes, and so can you.  Take a breath of fresh air.  The past is long gone.  Focus on what you can do, not on what you could have or should have done.
12. You are capable of handling far more than you think. – Accept each moment, without judgment or anxiety.  Remind yourself that all is well, and that you can handle whatever comes along.
13. If you’re having problems, that’s good. – It means you’re making progress.  The only people with no problems are the ones doing nothing.
14. It’s takes just as much energy to waste your time as it does to use it wisely. – It is far better to be exhausted from lots of effort and learning, than to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.
15. There’s a big difference between being busy and being productive. – Don’t confuse motion and progress.  A rocking horse keeps moving but never makes any forward progress.
16. You can’t achieve what you do not attempt. – Everything you achieve comes from something you attempt.  Everything!  Make the attempt.  The path between wanting and having is doing.
17. The right thing and the easy thing are rarely the same thing. – Do what matters, not just what is convenient.  Do what is fulfilling, not just what is easy.  When faced with a choice, choose the path that strengthens you.  Choose to learn, choose to grow, choose to more fully become who you are.
18. You can’t be your best without first being yourself. – Be highly effective by being highly authentic.  Take a moment to pause and remember who you are and what you stand for.  Take a moment to reflect on the ideas and principles that have real and lasting meaning in your life.
19. Meaningful work is important. – You are at your best when you are moving toward a meaningful, positive and ambitious goal.  So never follow goals you’re reluctant to pursue.  Find ones that will keep you awake at night with excitement.
20. Always realign yourself with your highest priorities. – If you’re being pulled in every direction by forces beyond your control, take time to realign yourself with what you value most in life.  What is important in your life is what you decide is important, and this decision will ultimately create who you are.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
21. Set your sights high. – Make your dreams big, exciting and undeniable.  They’re the ones that will push you forward.  Whatever is beyond your reach right now will not always be beyond your reach.  Keep going.
22. Miracles happen every day. – If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
23. If you’re going to do something, do it with enthusiasm and devotion. – Hold nothing back…  In life.  Or love.  Or business.  Or anything at all.  Every morning, ask yourself what is really important and then have the courage to build your day around your answer.
24. Focused effort pays. – An attitude of “whatever is convenient” won’t accomplish much, ever.  An attitude of “whatever it takes” is impossible to stop.  So remember, effort does not cost you – it pays.  What you invest in effort is never wasted.  Sincere, focused effort always brings something of value – an outcome that teaches you what the next step is.
25. What you are capable of achieving is heavily based on how much you want it. – When it means enough to you, then you can do it.  When you are willing and committed and persistent, you will get yourself there, every time.
26. You can always take a small step in the direction of your dreams. – There is absolutely nothing about your present situation that prevents you from following your dreams, one step at a time.  Use each setback, each disappointment as a cue to push on ahead with more determination than ever before.
27. Set time aside to celebrate your progress at least once a month. – Look at how far you’ve come.  You have made progress.  And now, imagine how far you can go.
28. Other people’s opinions don’t have to be your reality. – Let the opinions of others inform you, don’t let them limit you.  Learn to value yourself and what you stand for.  Allow yourself to be yourself.  If you don’t want what the world says you should want, have the courage to say so.
29. Break the rules sometimes. – Don’t break the law, but break the rules.  If all you are doing is following someone else’s rules, then you have not grown, you have only obeyed.
30. You alone, get to choose what matters and what doesn’t. – The meaning of everything in your life is the meaning you give it.
31. Listen to your intuition. – When something feels right, that means it is right for you.  When something feels wrong, that means it is wrong for you.  Pay attention to your authentic feelings, and follow where they lead.
32. Own and embrace your imperfections. – Because once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.  (Read The Gifts of Imperfection.)
33. Every mistake is a step forward. – You cannot make a mistake; you can only make a decision that will be your next best step.
34. Every day is a clean slate. – Don’t you dare give up on Today because of the way things looked Yesterday.  Don’t even think about it.  Every day is a new day to try again.
35. No moment is wasted when you live it with presence and purpose. – Value and enjoy the journey, even when there are detours along the way.  Appreciate every moment, whatever each moment may bring.  From the genuine appreciation of these little moments will come a remarkable life.
36. Treat everyone, especially yourself, with kindness and respect. – Treat yourself as the most important person in the world, and treat others as you treat yourself.  Do not miss a single chance – not one single opportunity – to tell someone how wonderful they are, how beautiful they are inside and out.  Live so that people will enjoy your presence when they’re with you, and appreciate you just as much or even more when they’re apart from you.
37. Accept important apologies you never received. – If you love someone and you want to forgive them, relieve them of the need to apologize to you, for anything.
38. True love is freedom. – Love lets go.  Let go of expectation, let go of requirements and rules and regulations that you would impose on your loved ones.  The gift of pure love allows you to bless others and accept them without condition, granting them freedom to make their own choices.
39. Everyone you meet can teach you something important. – In fact, the people who are the most difficult to deal with can also be your most valuable teachers.
40. No matter how much you know, there’s a whole lot you don’t know. – In almost every situation, a little more willingness to acknowledge that there may be something you do not know could change everything.  Go somewhere new, and countless opportunities suddenly appear.  Do something differently, and all sorts of great new possibilities spring up.  Keep an open mind.

Afterthoughts

Above all, I think the best thing we can do for our kids as they grow is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong and responsible, allow them the freedom to experience things on their own terms, allow them to take the bus or the train and learn from life firsthand… allow them to be better people, allow them to believe more in themselves.

10 Life Lessons From A Navy Seal

The University’s slogan is,
“What starts here changes the world.”
I have to admit—I kinda like it.
“What starts here changes the world.”
Tonight there are almost 8,000 students graduating from UT.
That great paragon of analytical rigor, Ask.Com says that the average American will meet 10,000 people in their lifetime.
That’s a lot of folks.

But, if every one of you changed the lives of just ten people—and each one of those folks changed the lives of another ten people—just ten—then in five generations—125 years—the class of 2014 will have changed the lives of 800 million people.
800 million people—think of it—over twice the population of the United States. Go one more generation and you can change the entire population of the world—8 billion people.

If you think it’s hard to change the lives of ten people—change their lives forever—you’re wrong.
I saw it happen every day in Iraq and Afghanistan.
A young Army officer makes a decision to go left instead of right down a road in Baghdad and the ten soldiers in his squad are saved from close-in ambush.
In Kandahar province, Afghanistan, a non-commissioned officer from the Female Engagement Team senses something isn’t right and directs the infantry platoon away from a 500 pound IED, saving the lives of a dozen soldiers.
But, if you think about it, not only were these soldiers saved by the decisions of one person, but their children yet unborn—were also saved. And their children’s children—were saved.
Generations were saved by one decision—by one person.
But changing the world can happen anywhere and anyone can do it.
So, what starts here can indeed change the world, but the question is… what will the world look like after you change it?
Well, I am confident that it will look much, much better, but if you will humor this old sailor for just a moment, I have a few suggestions that may help you on your way to a better a world.
And while these lessons were learned during my time in the military, I can assure you that it matters not whether you ever served a day in uniform.
It matters not your gender, your ethnic or religious background, your orientation, or your social status.
Our struggles in this world are similar and the lessons to overcome those struggles and to move forward—changing ourselves and the world around us—will apply equally to all.
I have been a Navy SEAL for 36 years. But it all began when I left UT for Basic SEAL training in Coronado, California.
Basic SEAL training is six months of long torturous runs in the soft sand, midnight swims in the cold water off San Diego, obstacles courses, unending calisthenics, days without sleep and always being cold, wet and miserable.
It is six months of being constantly harassed by professionally trained warriors who seek to find the weak of mind and body and eliminate them from ever becoming a Navy SEAL.
But, the training also seeks to find those students who can lead in an environment of constant stress, chaos, failure and hardships.
To me basic SEAL training was a life time of challenges crammed into six months.
So, here are the ten lessons I learned from basic SEAL training that hopefully will be of value to you as you move forward in life.
Every morning in basic SEAL training, my instructors, who at the time were all Vietnam veterans, would show up in my barracks room and the first thing they would inspect was your bed.
If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the rack—rack—that’s Navy talk for bed.
It was a simple task—mundane at best. But every morning we were required to make our bed to perfection. It seemed a little ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that were aspiring to be real warriors, tough battle hardened SEALs—but the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over.
If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another.
By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter.
If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.
And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made—that you made—and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.
#1. If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.

During SEAL training the students are broken down into boat crews. Each crew is seven students—three on each side of a small rubber boat and one coxswain to help guide the dingy.
Every day your boat crew forms up on the beach and is instructed to get through the surf zone and paddle several miles down the coast.
In the winter, the surf off San Diego can get to be 8 to 10 feet high and it is exceedingly difficult to paddle through the plunging surf unless everyone digs in.
Every paddle must be synchronized to the stroke count of the coxswain. Everyone must exert equal effort or the boat will turn against the wave and be unceremoniously tossed back on the beach.
For the boat to make it to its destination, everyone must paddle.
You can’t change the world alone—you will need some help— and to truly get from your starting point to your destination takes friends, colleagues, the good will of strangers and a strong coxswain to guide them.
#2. If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle.

Over a few weeks of difficult training my SEAL class which started with 150 men was down to just 35. There were now six boat crews of seven men each.
I was in the boat with the tall guys, but the best boat crew we had was made up of the the little guys—the munchkin crew we called them—no one was over about 5-foot five.
The munchkin boat crew had one American Indian, one African American, one Polish American, one Greek American, one Italian American, and two tough kids from the mid-west.
They out paddled, out-ran, and out swam all the other boat crews.
The big men in the other boat crews would always make good natured fun of the tiny little flippers the munchkins put on their tiny little feet prior to every swim.
But somehow these little guys, from every corner of the Nation and the world, always had the last laugh— swimming faster than everyone and reaching the shore long before the rest of us.
SEAL training was a great equalizer. Nothing mattered but your will to succeed. Not your color, not your ethnic background, not your education and not your social status.
#3. If you want to change the world, measure a person by the size of their heart, not the size of their flippers.
Several times a week, the instructors would line up the class and do a uniform inspection. It was exceptionally thorough.
Your hat had to be perfectly starched, your uniform immaculately pressed and your belt buckle shiny and void of any smudges.
But it seemed that no matter how much effort you put into starching your hat, or pressing your uniform or polishing your belt buckle—- it just wasn’t good enough.
The instructors would find “something” wrong.
For failing the uniform inspection, the student had to run, fully clothed into the surfzone and then, wet from head to toe, roll around on the beach until every part of your body was covered with sand.
The effect was known as a “sugar cookie.” You stayed in that uniform the rest of the day—cold, wet and sandy.
There were many a student who just couldn’t accept the fact that all their effort was in vain. That no matter how hard they tried to get the uniform right—it was unappreciated.
Those students didn’t make it through training.
Those students didn’t understand the purpose of the drill. You were never going to succeed. You were never going to have a perfect uniform.
Sometimes no matter how well you prepare or how well you perform you still end up as a sugar cookie.
It’s just the way life is sometimes.
#4. If you want to change the world get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving forward.

Every day during training you were challenged with multiple physical events—long runs, long swims, obstacle courses, hours of calisthenics—something designed to test your mettle.
Every event had standards—times you had to meet. If you failed to meet those standards your name was posted on a list and at the end of the day those on the list were invited to—a “circus.”
A circus was two hours of additional calisthenics—designed to wear you down, to break your spirit, to force you to quit.
No one wanted a circus.
A circus meant that for that day you didn’t measure up. A circus meant more fatigue—and more fatigue meant that the following day would be more difficult—and more circuses were likely.
But at some time during SEAL training, everyone—everyone—made the circus list.
But an interesting thing happened to those who were constantly on the list. Over time those students-—who did two hours of extra calisthenics—got stronger and stronger.
The pain of the circuses built inner strength-built physical resiliency.
Life is filled with circuses.
You will fail. You will likely fail often. It will be painful. It will be discouraging. At times it will test you to your very core.
#5. But if you want to change the world, don’t be afraid of the circuses.

At least twice a week, the trainees were required to run the obstacle course. The obstacle course contained 25 obstacles including a 10-foot high wall, a 30-foot cargo net, and a barbed wire crawl to name a few.
But the most challenging obstacle was the slide for life. It had a three level 30 foot tower at one end and a one level tower at the other. In between was a 200-foot long rope.
You had to climb the three tiered tower and once at the top, you grabbed the rope, swung underneath the rope and pulled yourself hand over hand until you got to the other end.
The record for the obstacle course had stood for years when my class began training in 1977.
The record seemed unbeatable, until one day, a student decided to go down the slide for life—head first.
Instead of swinging his body underneath the rope and inching his way down, he bravely mounted the TOP of the rope and thrust himself forward.
It was a dangerous move—seemingly foolish, and fraught with risk. Failure could mean injury and being dropped from the training.
Without hesitation—the student slid down the rope—perilously fast, instead of several minutes, it only took him half that time and by the end of the course he had broken the record.
#6. If you want to change the world sometimes you have to slide down the obstacle head first.
During the land warfare phase of training, the students are flown out to San Clemente Island which lies off the coast of San Diego.
The waters off San Clemente are a breeding ground for the great white sharks. To pass SEAL training there are a series of long swims that must be completed. One—is the night swim.
Before the swim the instructors joyfully brief the trainees on all the species of sharks that inhabit the waters off San Clemente.
They assure you, however, that no student has ever been eaten by a shark—at least not recently.
But, you are also taught that if a shark begins to circle your position—stand your ground. Do not swim away. Do not act afraid.
And if the shark, hungry for a midnight snack, darts towards you—then summons up all your strength and punch him in the snout and he will turn and swim away.
There are a lot of sharks in the world. If you hope to complete the swim you will have to deal with them.
#7. So, if you want to change the world, don’t back down from the sharks.
As Navy SEALs one of our jobs is to conduct underwater attacks against enemy shipping. We practiced this technique extensively during basic training.
The ship attack mission is where a pair of SEAL divers is dropped off outside an enemy harbor and then swims well over two miles—underwater—using nothing but a depth gauge and a compass to get to their target.
During the entire swim, even well below the surface there is some light that comes through. It is comforting to know that there is open water above you.
But as you approach the ship, which is tied to a pier, the light begins to fade. The steel structure of the ship blocks the moonlight—it blocks the surrounding street lamps—it blocks all ambient light.
To be successful in your mission, you have to swim under the ship and find the keel—the center line and the deepest part of the ship.
This is your objective. But the keel is also the darkest part of the ship—where you cannot see your hand in front of your face, where the noise from the ship’s machinery is deafening and where it is easy to get disoriented and fail.
Every SEAL knows that under the keel, at the darkest moment of the mission—is the time when you must be calm, composed—when all your tactical skills, your physical power and all your inner strength must be brought to bear.
#8. If you want to change the world, you must be your very best in the darkest moment.

The ninth week of training is referred to as “Hell Week.” It is six days of no sleep, constant physical and mental harassment and—one special day at the Mud Flats—the Mud Flats are an area between San Diego and Tijuana where the water runs off and creates the Tijuana slue’s—a swampy patch of terrain where the mud will engulf you.
It is on Wednesday of Hell Week that you paddle down to the mud flats and spend the next 15 hours trying to survive the freezing cold mud, the howling wind and the incessant pressure to quit from the instructors.
As the sun began to set that Wednesday evening, my training class, having committed some “egregious infraction of the rules” was ordered into the mud.
The mud consumed each man till there was nothing visible but our heads. The instructors told us we could leave the mud if only five men would quit—just five men and we could get out of the oppressive cold.
Looking around the mud flat it was apparent that some students were about to give up. It was still over eight hours till the sun came up—eight more hours of bone chilling cold.
The chattering teeth and shivering moans of the trainees were so loud it was hard to hear anything and then, one voice began to echo through the night—one voice raised in song.
The song was terribly out of tune, but sung with great enthusiasm.
One voice became two and two became three and before long everyone in the class was singing.
We knew that if one man could rise above the misery then others could as well.
The instructors threatened us with more time in the mud if we kept up the singing—but the singing persisted.
And somehow—the mud seemed a little warmer, the wind a little tamer and the dawn not so far away.
If I have learned anything in my time traveling the world, it is the power of hope. The power of one person—Washington, Lincoln, King, Mandela and even a young girl from Pakistan—Malala—one person can change the world by giving people hope.
#9. So, if you want to change the world, start singing when you’re up to your neck in mud.

Finally, in SEAL training there is a bell. A brass bell that hangs in the center of the compound for all the students to see.
All you have to do to quit—is ring the bell. Ring the bell and you no longer have to wake up at 5 o’clock. Ring the bell and you no longer have to do the freezing cold swims.
Ring the bell and you no longer have to do the runs, the obstacle course, the PT—and you no longer have to endure the hardships of training.
Just ring the bell.
#10. If you want to change the world don’t ever, ever ring the bell.

To the graduating class of 2014, you are moments away from graduating. Moments away from beginning your journey through life. Moments away from starting to change the world—for the better.
It will not be easy.
But, YOU are the class of 2014—the class that can affect the lives of 800 million people in the next century.
Start each day with a task completed.
Find someone to help you through life.
Respect everyone.
Know that life is not fair and that you will fail often, but if you take take some risks, step up when the times are toughest, face down the bullies, lift up the downtrodden and never, ever give up—if you do these things, then next generation and the generations that follow will live in a world far better than the one we have today and—what started here will indeed have changed the world—for the better.
Thank you very much. Hook ‘em horns.

Watch the video.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxBQLFLei70

It's Never Been Said Better!

23 psychological Life Hacks to get a Situational advantage.

1. When you first meet people try to notice their eye color while also smiling at them. It might be because you look for a second or two longer, but all I can tell you is that people really respond to it.
2. Pay attention to people’s feet. If you approach two people in the middle of a conversation, and they only turn their torsos and not their feet, they don’t want you to join in the conversation. Similarly if you are in a conversation with a coworker who you think is paying attention to you and their torso is turned towards you but their feet are facing in another direction, they want the conversation to end. You should check out Carol Kinsey Goman’s research on these types of things in the workplace.
3. Foot-in-the-door phenomenon. People are more likely to agree to do a task for you if you ask them to do something simpler first. (Gradual Commitment… makes people them think you like them)
4. Alternatively you ask them to do an unreasonable task, and they’ll say no, so then you ask for what you wanted, a much more reasonable task, and they’re more likely to agree that way.
5. If you ask someone to do you a small favor, cognitive dissonance will make them believe that because they did that favor, they therefore must like you. (Ben Franklin)
6. If you ask someone a question and they only partially answer just wait. If you stay silent and keep eye contact they will usually continue talking.
7. Chew gum when you’re approaching a situation that would make you nervous like public speaking or bungee jumping. I can’t remember where I heard it but apparently if we are ‘eating’ something in our brains trip and it reasons ‘I would not be eating if I were danger. So I’m not in danger’. Has helped calm me a few times.
8. Avoid the sidewalk shuffle by looking intently over the person’s shoulder, or between people’s heads in a group. Your gaze shows them where you’re going. They’ll drift toward the opposing side / create a gap to avoid you.
9. When you’re studying/learning something new, teach a friend how/about it. Let them ask questions. If you’re able to teach something well, you understand it.
10. Refer to people you’ve just met by their name. People loving being referred to by their name, and it will establish a sense of trust and friendship right away… Check out Dale Carnegie’s book on how to do this and much more  (ignore his cheesy title).
11. For interviews I recommend altering your psychological state beforehand. Tell yourself “I’ve known these people all my life. We’re old friends catching up. I can’t wait to see them”. Visualize the experience, shaking hands, making eye contact, having conversation. What things can you not to wait to tell them? Hold an open pose…stand with your legs apart, hands on your hips, and shoulders back while doing this and SMILE. This may sound cliche but you are in charge of your own psychological state and the power of suggestion is strong.
12. If you get yourself to be really happy and excited to see other people, they will react the same to you. It doesn’t always happen the first time, but it will definitely happen next time.
13. My personal favorite is when people are angry at me; if I stay calm it’ll get them even angrier, and be ashamed about it after.
14. If you have a warm hand when you shake somebody’s hand, you immediately become a more desirable person to get along with.
15. People have a certain image of themselves and will fight tooth and nail to cling to it. Use this information wisely. You can make people dislike you by attacking their self-image.
16. False attribution of arousal. When you take somebody out on a first date, take them somewhere exciting that will get their heart beating. e.g. roller coaster or horror film. This gets their adrenaline up. It makes them think they enjoy spending time with you rather than the activity.
17. The key to confidence is walking into a room, and assuming everyone already likes you.
18. The physical effects of stress (increased breathing rate, heart rate ect.) mirror identically the physical effects of courage. So when you’re feeling stress from any situation immediately reframe it: your body is getting ready to do courage, it’s Not feeling stress.. A great example of cognitive reframing, researchers found that you do better when you appraise a stressful situation as a challenge, not a threat
19. People will remember not what you said but how you made them feel.
20. If you make the biggest smile you can, you will automatically feel happier.
21. The moment your alarm wakes you up, immediately react by sitting up, pump your fists and shout “YEAH!”
22. Always give your kid a choice that makes them think they are in control. For instance when I want him to put his shoes on I will say ,”do you want to put your star wars shoes on or your shark shoes on?”
23. People are extraordinarily aware of their sense of touch. If someone (a member of the opposite sex?) ‘Accidentally’ rests their knee on yours, let’s say, they know it’s there.